What are you holding on to that isn’t serving you anymore? The relationship that didn’t work out 3 years ago? That project you messed up last year? The break down you had last week?
Focusing on the failures is not helpful to moving into your most enhanced life. You are the only one holding on to those failures. Most people don’t even remember them.
While yes, it stinks to feel like you failed at something, we can (and need to) take the lessons we learned and use them to grow.
How to use ”failure” to your advantage
Don’t call it a failure
Whatever “failure” you think you had can teach you something. Take what you learned and use it, thus making it easier to be known by another name – a learning opportunity or an experiment. Remember, even Thomas Edison, Michael Jordan and other famous people failed numerous times. The difference is that they learned from those failures.
Take time to Reflect
Reflect on what you learned from the “failure”. Still upset about that break-up three years ago? Now you know what you aren’t looking for in a relationship. Taking time to look at what you did in the situation can help you do things differently in future situations. You can get down to the nitty gritty of what was positive and what was negative in the situation. What actions did you take (or not take) that you would like to do differently? This gives you a road map for what you would rather do in the future.
Get support
Maybe the issue is really that you need help with a skill or you need someone to help you stay accountable. Find a therapist, group, mentor, or coach who can help you develop what you need to be a success the next time around.
Celebrate what seems like a “failure” as an opportunity to learn, grow and do things differently.
To your mental health –
Dr. Jac