Do you do everything for everybody – but never for yourself?
Do you want everyone to be happy – but forget how to make yourself happy?
Do you take care of everyone else’s wants and needs – but can’t even recognize your own?
Are you just too people-pleasingly nice?
To quote prominent Nigerian writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “…forget about likeability – if you start off thinking about being likeable you’re not going to tell your story honestly… because you’re going to be so concerned with not offending.” She also says, “all over the world, girls are raised to be make themselves likeable, to twist themselves into shapes that suit other people.”
Does that sound like you?
If you want to:
- Take care of your own needs first
- Be taken more seriously
- Have your own life, pursuing your own dreams
- Live a happier, more confident life
- Start speaking up for yourself
- Find out just how happy it’s possible to be
- Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault
- Unburden yourself of so many additional responsibilities
- Quit biting off more than you can chew
- Finish being so hard on yourself
- No longer feel like you’re disappearing
You’re in the right place.
I’m Dr. Jac, and I use my 10+ years of experience as a clinical psychologist to help hundreds of people figure out what they need to change in their lives so they can stop being so nicey-nice, stop serving everybody else, and start taking care of themselves. My clients are no longer ‘shoulding’ all over themselves; instead they’re getting to do things that matter to them.
I don’t want to go complete bitch on you, but I’m not going to be super sugary sweet, either. I’ll tell it to you straight, stop being so damn nice and have the confidence to stand up for yourself.
One of the first things I teach my clients is, you are just important as others in your life. You need to start thinking about yourself as such.
Have you heard of self-fulfilling prophecies? Sociologist Robert Merton coined this phrase in the 1940’s. To simplify, the self-fulling prophecy means that the way we see ourselves is the way we will behave. That picture we have created in our heads of who we are leads us to act in accordance with that picture.
In other words, if you think you’re really nice, you’re going to act really nice (and have people walk all over you).
When you think differently of yourself, it’s like giving yourself permission to be who you want to be. You won’t be giving into comparing yourself to others, you will be focusing on following that beacon of who you are really meant to be. Who you really want to be.
So if you want to:
- Have really, really real friends
- Say no to people
- Be authentically selfish – the right way
- Re-teach people how to treat you
- Protect your own feelings
- Use your money for your own benefit
- Figure out your own goals
Then the Boldness Academy might be for you.
If you are ready to change the way you think about yourself and others, about being nice, about people-pleasing, Contact Me to learn more about my 1-on-1 and group coaching programs. I can’t wait to hear from you!