do everything for everybody – but never for yourself?
want everyone to be happy – but forget how to make yourself happy?
take care of everyone else’s wants and needs – but can’t even recognize your own?
Are you just too people-pleasingly nice?
To quote prominent Nigerian writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “…forget about likeability – if you start off thinking about being likeable you’re not going to tell your story honestly… because you’re going to be so concerned with not offending.” She also says, “all over the world, girls are raised to be make themselves likeable, to twist themselves into shapes that suit other people.”
Does that sound like you?
If you want to:
- Take care of your own needs
- Be taken more seriously
- Have your own life, pursuing your own dreams
- Live a happier, more confident life
- Start speaking up for yourself
- Find out just how happy it’s possible to be
- Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault
- Unburden yourself of so many additional responsibilities
- Quit biting off more than you can chew
- Finish being so hard on yourself
- No longer feel like you’re disappearing
You’re in the right place.
Hi, I’m Dr. Jac. I am passionate about helping smart, successful women find the freedom to live life on their own terms.
I use my background as a psychologist and the science of positive psychology to help women gain confidence and assertiveness skills so they can speak their mind, say no, stop worrying about what people think about them without feeling guilty. Clients have said that I am able to identify their needs quickly, hold them accountable and have a genuine desire to see them succeed.
When I find a bit of down time you will find me discussing the oddities of life with my husband and kiddos or reading mystery books with a glass of red wine surrounded by our 6 animals and any foster dogs we may have. If you are dying to know a little more about me, click here.
Have you heard of self-fulfilling prophecies? Sociologist Robert Merton coined this phrase in the 1940’s. To simplify, the self-fulling prophecy means that the way we see ourselves is the way we will behave. That picture we have created in our heads of who we are leads us to act in accordance with that picture.
In other words, if you think you’re really nice, you’re going to act really nice (and have people walk all over you).
When you think differently of yourself, it’s like giving yourself permission to be who you want to be. You won’t be giving into comparing yourself to others, you will be focusing on following that beacon of who you are really meant to be. Who you really want to be.
So if you want to:
- Be able to say no to people
- Be authentically self interested – the right way
- Have real friends who see your value
- Have people treat you as the important person you are
- Speak up for what you need to be happy
- Stop feeling guilty for your wants
- Reach the goals that are right for you